Movie Date: July 2, 1986
You know, Daddy, this is my very best birthday. Ah, but I haven't given you your present yet. - What is it? What is it? - Now, now, close your eyes. Ah, ah, ah, och, now. No peeking now. Ohh, Daddy! You made this just for me? You 're the most wonderful father in the... in the whole world! Oh! Who's that? I... I don't know! Quickly, dear. Stay in here and don't come out. Gotcha, toymaker! Olivia! Daddy! Where are you? Daddy! Where are you? Daddy! It was the eve of our good Queen's Diamond Jubilee... and the year Her Majesty's government... came to the very brink of disaster. She... I'm getting ahead of myself. My name is Dr David Q. Dawson... most recently of the Queen's 66th Regiment. I had just arrived in London... after lengthy service in Afghanistan... and was anxious to find a quiet place... yes, preferably dry... where I could rest and find a bit of peace. Little did I know... but my life was about to change forever. Oh! Oh, my! Are you all right, my dear? Oh, come now. Come, come, come. Here, here. Dry your eyes. Ah, yes. Now, that's better. Now, tell me... what's troubling you, my dear? I... I'm lost. I... I'm trying to find Basil of Baker Street. Oh, let me see. "Famous Detective Solves Baffling Disappearance." Mm-hmm. But where are your mother and father? That's why I m-must find Basil! There, there, there. Now, now, now... I... Well, now, I don't know any Basil. But I do remember where Baker Street is. Now come with me. We'll find this Basil chap together. Good evening, madam. Is this the residence of Basil of Baker Street? I'm afraid it is. He's not here at the moment... but you 're welcome to come in and wait. Oh, I don't want to impose. It's just the girl... Oh, my! You poor dear. You must be chilled to the bone. Ohh, but I know just the thing. Let me fetch you a pot of tea... and some of my fresh cheese crumpets. Aha! The villain's slipped this time! I shall have him! Out of my way! Out of my way! I say... Ooh! Who are you? What? Oh! Basil of Baker Street, my good fellow. Mr Basil, I need your help, and... All in good time. But... but you don't understand. I'm in terrible trouble. If you'll excuse me. Now... now... now, see here! This young lady is in need of assistance. - I think you ought to listen. - Hold this, please, Doctor. Of course. Now wait just a moment. How the deuce did you know I was a doctor? A surgeon to be exact. Just returned from military duty in Afghanistan. Am I right? Why, yes. Major David Q. Dawson. But how could you possibly... Quite simple, really. You've sewn your torn cuff together... with a Lambert stitch, which, of course, only a surgeon uses. And the thread is a unique form of cat-gut... easily distinguished by its peculiar pungency... found only in the Afghan provinces. Amazing. Actually, it's elementary, my dear Dawson. What in heaven's name? My... my good pillows! Mr Basil! Pfft! How many times have I told you... There, there, Mrs Judson, it's quite all right. Mmm. I believe I smell... some of those delightful cheese crumpets of yours. Why don't you fetch our guests some? But... but I... Now, I know that bullet's here somewhere. Here... Thank you, Miss. Flaversham. Olivia Flaversham. - Whatever. - Yes, but you don't understand. Another dead end. He was within my grasp! Now will you please listen to me? My daddy's gone, and I'm all alone. Young lady, this is a most inopportune time. Surely your mother knows where he is. I... I don't have a mother. Well, um, then perhaps... See here, I simply have no time for lost fathers. I didn't lose him! He was taken by a bat! - Did you say "bat"? - Yes. Did he have a crippled wing? I don't know, but he had a peg leg! I say, do you know him? Know him? That bat, one Fidget by name... is in the employ of the very fiend... who was the target of my experiment! The horror of my every waking moment! The nefarious Professor Ratigan! Ratigan? He's a genius, Dawson. A genius twisted for evil. The Napoleon of crime! As bad as all that, eh? Worse! For years I've tried to capture him... and I've come close, so very close... but each time he's narrowly evaded my grasp. Not a corner of London's safe... while Ratigan's at large. There's no evil scheme he wouldn't concoct... no depravity he wouldn't commit. Who knows what dastardly scheme... that villain may be plotting... even as we speak. Quite an ingenious scheme, eh, Flaversham? And aren't you proud to be a part of it? This whole thing, it's... it's monstrous. We will have our little device... ready by tomorrow evening, won't we? You know what will happen if you... fail. I... I... I don't care! You can do what you want with me. I won't be a part of this... this evil any longer! Oh, very well, if that is your decision. Oh, by the way, I'm taking the liberty... of having your daughter brought here. Yes. I would spend many a sleepless night... if anything unfortunate were to befall her. You... you wouldn't! Finish it, Flaversham! Oh, I love it when I'm nasty. Fidget. Bright and alert as always. Here's the list. You know what to do, and no mistakes! No... no mistakes. Now, Fidget! I'm going! I'm going! I'm going! My friends, we are about to embark on the most odious... the most evil, the most diabolical scheme... of my illustrious career. A crime to top all crimes. A crime that will live in infamy! Tomorrow evening, our beloved monarch... celebrates her Diamond Jubilee. And with the enthusiastic help... of our good friend, Mr Flaversham... it promises to be a night she will never forget. Her last night and my first... as Supreme Ruler of all mousedom! From the brain that brought you The Big Ben caper The head that made headlines in every newspaper And wondrous things like the Tower Bridge job That cunning display that made Londoners sob Now comes the real tour de force My earlier crimes were fine for their times But now that I'm at it again An even grimmer plot has been simmering In my great criminal brain Even meaner? You mean it? Worse than the widows and orphans you drowned? You 're the best of the worst around Oh, Ratigan Oh, Ratigan The rest fall behind To Ratigan, to Ratigan The world's greatest criminal mind Thank you, thank you... but it hasn't all been champagne and caviar. I've had my share of adversity... thanks to that miserable, second-rate detective... Basil of Baker Street! For years, that insufferable pipsqueak... has interfered with my plans... and I haven't had a moment's peace of mind. But all that's in the past. This time, nothing... not even Basil, can stand in my way! All will bow before me. Oh, Ratigan Oh, Ratigan You 're tops, and that's that To Ratigan, to Ratigan To Ratigan, the world's greatest rat What was that? What did you call me? Oh, he didn't mean it, Professor. It was just a slip of the tongue! I am not a rat! 'Course you 're not. You 're a mouse. - That's right. Right, a mouse. - Yeah! A big mouse! Silence! Oh, my dear Bartholomew. I'm afraid that you've gone and upset me. You know what happens when someone upsets me. Oh, Ratigan, oh, Ratigan You 're the tops, and that's that To Ratigan, to Ratigan To Ratigan The world's greatest... Tsk, tsk, tsk. Oh, Felicia, my precious. My baby. Did Daddy's little honeybun enjoy her tasty treat? I trust there will be no further interruptions. Ahem. And now, as you were singing... Even louder, let's shout it No one can doubt what we know you can do You 're more evil than even you Oh, Ratigan Oh, Ratigan You 're one of a kind To Ratigan, to Ratigan The world's greatest criminal mind This case is most intriguing... with its multiplicity of elements... its many twists and turns. Now, you 're certain you told me everything? The slightest detail may be important. It's just as I said. And then my father was gone. What do you make of it? Mmm, Ratigan's up to something. A crime of the most sinister nature, no doubt. The question is, what would he want with a toymaker? Quickly, Dawson! We've not a moment to lose! I... I'm right behind you, Basil! No sign of the blackguard anywhere. Not quite, Dawson. He left some rather unusual footprints. They obviously belong to the same fiend... who abducted the girl's father... Ratigan's peg-legged lackey! Excellent work, old man! Now, there's nothing to be afraid of, my dear. The scoundrel's quite gone. Ah ha ha, but not for long, Miss Flamhammer. - Flaversham! - Whatever. Now, we simply pursue our peg-legged friend... until he leads us to the girl's father. Then you'll get my daddy back? Yes... and quite soon, if I'm not mistaken. Now, hurry along, Dawson. Must be off to Toby's. - Toby's? - Oh, you must meet him. - He's just the chap for this. - You... you want me to come? Ha, I should think a stout- hearted army mouse like you... would leap at the chance for adventure. Well, I am rather curious. Wait for me! I'm coming, too! What? Certainly not. This is no business for children. Are we going to take a cab? Ohh. My dear, I don't think you understand. It will be quite dangerous. Why, you... Look... Young lady... you are most definitely not accompanying us... and that is final! And not a word out of you... is that clear? I observe that there is a good deal... of German music on the program. It is introspective, and I want to introspect. But, Holmes, that music is so frightfully dull. Come on. Toby! Who is Toby? Well, my dear, Toby is... Well, he's, uh... I say, Basil, who is this Toby chap? Ah, here he is now. Dawson, Toby. Charmed, I'm sure. Now, Toby... Toby, stop that! Toby, cease! Desist! Frightfully sorry, old man. Toby has the most splendid sense of smell... of any hound I've trained, but he can be deucedly frisky. Silly doggy. Would you like a crumpet? Now, Toby, Toby, to the matter at hand. I want you to... Good. Now, Toby... Toby, I want you to find... this fiend. Yes, you know his type. A villain! A scoundrel! Low brow. Close-set eyes. Broken wing. Oh. He's a peg-leg bat with a broken wing. That's the spirit! Got his scent? Good boy! Good boy! Miss Flamchester... - Flaversham! - Flaversham! Whatever. Your father is as good as found. Sic'em! Tally-ho! The thrill of the hunt, eh, Dawson? Uh, quite! Ho ho ho! Our peg-legged quarry can't be far now! "Get the following." Tools, check. I got the tools. Gears, double check. I got gears. Girl? No, didn't get girl. Uniforms? I got plenty of uniforms. Oh, no, no! I gotta hide! I gotta hide! I gotta hide! Splendid job, Toby! Now, Toby, sit! - Toby... sit. - Sit, Toby. Good boy. If you'll excuse me. You be good now. We're going to find my father. Here is our friend's entrance. But, Basil, how could he fit in through such a tiny... Observe, Doctor. Basil, you astound me! I beg your pardon. I... Oh, my. Upon my word... I've never seen so many toys. Behind any of which could lurk our bloodthirsty assassin! So, please, Doctor, be very careful. Oh! What the de... Ohh! Please! Quiet. Don't let this girl out of your sight. Now, Olivia, dear, stay close. Checkmate. Evidence of our peg-legged adversary! How very odd. What is it, Basil? Isn't it painfully obvious, Doctor? These dolls have been stripped of their uniforms. And not by any child, either. Someone has taken the liberty of removing... the clockwork mechanisms from these toys. Please, I'm trying to concentrate. But, Basil, I... Got you! Quickly, Doctor! Look out! Stop, you fiend! Help! Mr Basil! Help! Help! I got the gears, I got the tools I got the uniforms I got the girl Mama. Basil! Olivia! Olivia, she... Yes, she's gone, Dawson! Confound it! I told you to watch over the girl! Now she's been spirited away by that maniacal little monster! Soon to be in the clutches of the most depraved mind... in all of London! I should have known better than to... than to... Um, I... I say, Dawson, old chap... Ohh, that poor girl. I should have watched her more closely. Don't worry, old fellow. It's not entirely hopeless. We'll get her back. Do... do you think there's a chance? There's always a chance, Doctor, as long as one can think. "Get the following... - "tools, gears..." - What? - "Girl"? - "Get the following." Dawson, you've done it! This list is precisely what we need! What? Quickly! Back to Baker Street! Ahh, Mr Flaversham. Allow me to present... your charming daughter. - Olivia! - Father! Ow! My foot! My only foot! Father! I thought I'd never find you! Oh, there, there, there, my bairn. I'm all right. Och, I was so worried about my little girl. Oh, how sweet. Oh, I just love tearful reunions. Now... come along, my dear. Oh, please! Please! - Father! - Olivia! Oh, please, Professor! Now, now, Fidget will take good care of her. That is, as long as we have no further delays. Yes! Yes! I'll finish it! Oh, just don't hurt my daughter. Remember, it must be ready tonight! Stop! Let me go! You ugly old thing! That'll hold you. Help! Let me out! Let me out! See how you like that! Ah, the uniforms! Oh, Fidget, I knew I could rely on you. Now, you didn't forget anything? No problem. I took care of everything. Everything on the list. Uh-oh. What's wrong? - The list... but I know I... - Where's the list? The list... yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you see it was like this. I was in the toy store getting uniforms... when I heard a "aroo aroo." You 're not coming through. A doggy! I ran! I had baby bonnet, girl in bag, and Basil ch-chased me! What? Basil on the case? Why, you gibbering little... Oh, my dear Fidget. You have been hanging upside down too long. You mean you 're not mad? I'm glad you 're taking it so well. Not me, you idiot! No, stop, you stupid furball! Open up! Open up! You 're hurting my wings! How dare that idiot Basil poke his stupid nose... into my wonderful scheme and foul up everything? Let me out! Let me out! Help! Oh, I can just see that insufferable grin... on his smug face. Yes, I can just see it. Felicia, release him. I'm too young to die! Fidget, you delightful little maniac. You've presented me with a singular opportunity. Poor Basil. Oh, he is in for a little surprise. Offhand, I can deduce very little. Only that the words are written... with a broad-pointed quill pen which has spattered... twice... that the paper is of native Mongolian manufacture... No watermark. And has... been gummed... if I'm not very much in error... by a bat who has been drinking Rodent's Delight... a cheap brand that is sold only in the seediest pubs. Hmm, amazing. Oh, not really, Doctor. We still don't know where it came from. Perhaps a closer inspection will tell us something. Coal dust. Clearly of the type used in sewer lamps. But, Basil, I... Shh. Don't speak. Excuse me, Dawson. Steady, hand... Yes. That's good. Come along, come along, come along, come along. Yes, yes. Good, good. No, bad... good, good. Oh, come along. Come on, come on. Yes. Come on, come on. We've done it, old fellow! This reaction could only have been triggered... by the paper's extreme saturation... with distillation of sodium chloride. Salt water? Great Scott. It proves beyond a doubt... this list came from the riverfront area! Ah, now, steady on there, Basil. No, no. Elementary, my dear Dawson. We merely look for a seedy pub at the only spot... where the sewer connects to the waterfront. Stay, Toby. Stay. Come, come, Dawson. I feel utterly ridiculous! Don't be absurd. You look perfect. Perfect? Perfectly foolish. Stay close and do as I do. Oh, I do beg your pardon, madam. Quite unintentional... I assure you. How impertinent! Remember, Dawson, we're low-life ruffians. Well, I was until that... Get off, you eight-legged bum! What's your pleasure, mates? Well, I'll have a dry sherry with, oh, perhaps a twist of... Two pints for me and my shipmate. Oh, by the way, we just got into port. We're looking for an old friend of mine. Maybe you know him. Goes by the name of Ratigan. I, uh... never heard of him. Dearest friends, dear gentlemen Listen to my song Life down here's been hard for you Life has made you strong Let me lift the mood With my attitude Hey, fellas The time is right Get ready Tonight's the night Boys, what you 're hoping for will come true Let me be good to you You tough guys You 're feeling all alone You rough guys The best of you sailors and bums All of my chums So dream on and drink your beer Get cozy Your baby's here You won't be misunderstood Let me be good to you Hey, fellas I'll take off all my blues Hey, fellas There's nothin' I won't do Just for you There you are, boys. It's, uh, on the house. Oh. I say, how very generous. These drinks have been... drugged! Has a rather nice bite to it. Jolly good, ladies. Jolly good! Dawson, get ahold of yourself! Ooh, bravo! Bravo! So dream on and drink your beer If it isn't our peg-legged friend. Dawson! Ho ho! What luck! Your baby's gonna come through Let me be good to you Oh! What... what... what... What in heaven's name is going on? I've spotted our peg-legged... Come on, old fellow, there's not a moment to lose. Let me be good to you So dream on and drink your beer Your baby's here Follow me. Great Scott. I can't see a thing. Shh! Grab onto my coat and follow along. No, no, no. Not that way! Dawson, look out for your... Oh, confound it! Do you have any idea where we're going? But of course. Left turn. Right turn here, Doctor. Aha! Dawson, we've found it! Ratigan's secret lair! And it's filthier than I imagined. Oh, Dawson, the bottle! It's stuck! Surprise! Bravo! Bravo! A marvellous performance! Though, frankly, I expected you fifteen minutes earlier. Trouble with the chemistry set, old boy? Ratigan, no one can have... a higher opinion of you than I have... and I think you 're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat! Oh, by the way, Basil, I just love your disguise. Really, one would hardly recognize you. The greatest... detective... in all mousedom! Ratigan, so help me, I'll see you behind bars yet! You fool! Isn't it clear to you the superior mind has triumphed? I've won! Oh, I love it! I love it! Oh, I love it! I love it! I love it! You don't know what a delightful dilemma it was... trying to decide on the most appropriate method... for your demise. Oh, I had so many ingenious ideas... I didn't know which to choose. So I decided to use them all. Marvellous, isn't it? Ha ha! Here... let me show you how it works. Picture this... first, a sprightly tune... I've recorded especially for you. As the song plays, the cord tightens... and when the song ends, the metal ball is released... rolling along its merry way until... And so ends the short, undistinguished career... of Basil of Baker Street. You 're... despicable. - Everything's ready, Fidget? - All set, boss. Oh, this is wicked. So delightfully wicked! Mr Flaversham, let me congratulate you... on a superb piece of craftsmanship. See what you can do with the proper motivation? You all know the plan. Right, Professor! It was my fond hope to stay and witness your final scene... but you were fifteen minutes late... and I do have an important engagement at, uh... Buckingham Palace. Now, you will remember to smile for the camera, won't you? Say cheese. You fiend! Sorry, chubby. You should have chosen your friends more carefully. Goodbye so soon And isn't this a crime? We know by now... Adieu! Auf wiedersehen! Arrivederci! Farewell! Bye-bye, Basil. ... your separate way With time so short, I'll say so long And go, so soon, goodbye You followed me, I followed you We were like each other's shadows for a while Now as you see, this game is through So, although it hurts... What did he mean, an engagement at Buckingham Palace? Ohh, haven't you figured it out yet, Doctor? The Queen's in danger, and the Empire's doomed. The Queen? Psst. Over here. Come on. Over here. Come in! Uh, begging Your Majesty's pardon. A present has just arrived in honour of your Jubilee. A present? Oh, how wonderful! Ahh, I just adore Jubilees. Here you are, sweetheart. Have you been with us long? "To our beloved Queen... "this gift we send... "as her sixty-year reign... "comes to an end"? How extraordinary. Goodness gracious! Amazing likeness, isn't it, Your Majesty? Professor Ratigan! Guards, seize this despicable creature! Oh, how dare you! Take her away. Let go of me, you ruffians! - Move along, honey. - You fiends! Traitors! It's through, so although it hurts I'll try to smile as I say goodbye So soon And isn't this a crime? Oh, how could I have been so blind? We all make mistakes... but we can't let that stop us. We have to... Ratigan's proved he's more clever than I. He would never have walked into such an obvious trap. Oh, pull yourself together! You can stop that villain! Why... Basil! The record! Oh, it's finally happened. I've been outwitted. - Basil, please! - Beaten, duped, made a fool of! - Ridiculed, belittled... - That's enough! As you see... Dash it all, Basil! The Queen's in danger! Olivia's counting on us! We're about to be horribly splatted... and all you can do is lie there feeling sorry for yourself. Well, I know you can save us, but if you've given up... why don't we just set it off now and be done with it? We know by now that time knows how to fly "Set it off now." We'll set the trap off now! Basil, wait! I didn't mean that we ought to... Angle of the trajectory multiplied... by the square root of an isosceles triangle... dividing Guttermeg's principle of opposing forces in motion... and adjusting for the difference in equilibrium... Dawson, at the exact moment I tell you... we must release the triggering mechanism. Get ready, Dawson. Steady... Now! Thank you, Dawson. Smile, everyone! On this most august occasion, we are gathered here... not only to commemorate my sixty years as queen... but to honour one... ...Of truly noble stature. I present to you a statesman among mice... a gifted leader... a crusader for justice... Over here, honey. Your turn, toots. Here, kitty, kitty, kitty. Time for mouse chow. A majestic mountain of humility... and my new royal consort... Professor Ratigan! The game's afoot, Toby! Our Queen is in mortal danger! To Buckingham Palace! Thank you, Your Majesty. And now, as your new royal consort... I have a few slight suggestions. Item one... Stop it! Open wide! Down, down, kitty! Down! Item 96. A heavy tax shall be levied... against all parasites and spongers... such as the elderly, the infirm... and especially little children. That's ridiculous! You 're insane! Perhaps I haven't made myself clear. I have the power! Of course you do. - I am supreme! - Only you. This is my kingdom! That is, of course, with Your Highness's permission. Most assuredly... you insidious fiend. - What? - You 're not my royal consort... What a sense of humour. You 're a cheap fraud... an imposter! Flaversham! A corrupt, vicious demented, low-life scoundrel. There's no evil scheme you wouldn't concoct. No depravity you wouldn't commit! You, Professor, are none other than a foul stenchus rodentus... commonly known as a... - Don't say it! - Sewer rat! Arrest that fiend! The girl! The girl! Stay where you are, or the girl dies! Hurry, Dawson! There he goes! Dawson! Flaversham! Gather up those balloons! Just wait! Basil's smarter than you! He's going to put you in jail. He's not afraid of a big old ugly rat like you! Would you kindly sit down and shut up?! Let her go, chaps! We have to lighten the load. Oh, you want to lighten the load. Excellent idea. No! Not me! Wait, I can't fly! I can't fly! Steady! Basil, look out! Closer, Dawson! Closer! Daddy, I can't reach! I can't reach! Basil! Over here! There's no escape this time, Basil! I've won! On the contrary! The game's not over yet! - Hooray! - Good fellow! Oh, jolly good! To be thanked by the Queen herself... Oh, how very thrilling, eh, Basil? All in a day's work, Doctor. Oh, Dr Dawson, you were wonderful. Indeed. Och, my, we're late to catch our train. Come along, Olivia. Yes, Father. Goodbye, Basil. I... I'll never forget you. Nor I you, Miss... Miss Flangerhanger. Whatever. - Goodbye, Dr Dawson. - Goodbye, my dear. Well, um, ahem. Not a bad little girl, actually. Not at all. Well, it's time I was on my way, too. But, um, but I thought... Well, the case is over... and perhaps it's... well, perhaps it's best... I found my own living quarters. But... Oh, now, who can that be? I-Is this the home of the famous Basil of Baker Street? Indeed it is, miss. You look as if you 're in some trouble. Oh, I am. I am! Then you've come to precisely the right place. Ah, allow me to introduce my trusted associate, Dr Dawson... with whom I do all my cases. Isn't that right, Doctor? What? What? Oh, yes. Yes, by all means. As you can see, Dawson, this young lady... has just arrived from the Hampstead District... and is troubled about the mysterious disappearance... of an emerald ring missing from the third finger... of her right hand. Now, tell me the story... and, pray, be as precise as possible. From that time on... Basil and I were a close team... and over the years, we had many cases together... but I shall always look back on that first... with the most fondness... my introduction to Basil of Baker Street... The Great Mouse Detective!