Movie Date: December 12, 1997

00:00:02 ♪ Nah doo way ♪
00:00:03 ♪ whoa whoa ♪
00:00:04 ♪ nah doo way ♪
00:00:07 ♪ whoa whoa ♪
00:00:08 ♪ whoa whoa oh ♪
00:00:10 ♪ whoa whoa oh ♪
00:00:11 ♪ nah doo way ♪
00:00:12 charlie, we went through this last year.
00:00:15 I told you then, I'm telling you now, I can't work weekends.
00:00:18 Charlie: Why not?
00:00:18 I've got 3 kids and a husband.
00:00:20 Well, that's mary lou.
00:00:20 She has no life.
00:00:23 It means nothing to her to work weekends.
00:00:27 Novated.
00:00:28 My kids have activities.
00:00:29 They need to see their parents doing something other than running to the car in the morning.
00:00:33 I can't really explain over the phone why we're so excited about this product.
00:00:37 Man: but you'll be here on wednesday?
00:00:39 I'll be in cleveland on wednesday.
00:00:41 Yeah, wednesday.
00:00:41 We'll talk about it then, face-to-face.
00:00:44 Man: Man-to-man?
00:00:45 Yeah, man-to-man.
00:00:46 All right.
00:00:46 See you then.
00:00:56 ♪ Oh, well, I'm anxious and restless ♪
00:00:58 ♪ I guess that's what it's like to be young ♪
00:01:02 ♪ oh, well, I'm anxious and restless ♪
00:01:04 ♪ I guess that's what it's like to be young ♪
00:01:08 ♪ all I wanted was a skateboard ♪
00:01:09 ♪ but now I got one ♪
00:01:10 ♪ all I wanted was a skateboard ♪
00:01:12 ♪ but now I got one ♪
00:01:13 ♪ all I wanted was a skateboard ♪
00:01:15 ♪ but now I got one ♪
00:01:16 ♪ all I wanted was a skateboard ♪
00:01:18 ♪ but now I got one ♪
00:01:19 ♪ it's good ♪
00:01:22 [parrot squawks] your brother's bug.
00:01:23 Your brother's bug.
00:01:25 Careful. careful!
00:01:26 [Crunch] [parrot squawks] Parrot: Bull's-eye.
00:01:33 3 From downtown.
00:01:35 And the crowd goes wild.
00:01:47 Oh, man.
00:01:52 ..
00:01:56 [Gasp] aaahhhh!
00:01:58 Alex slammed the toilet seat down on his thing again.
00:02:00 I had nothing to do with this.
00:02:01 I'm innocent.
00:02:01 Yeah, i--i gotta go.
00:02:04 Keep that in your mouth.
00:02:07 Mmm.
00:02:09 Chickenpox.
00:02:10 Mom, with all due respect, this is a scam to get out of having to tu because his bug died.
00:02:17 What?
00:02:17 His face doesn't look that bad.
00:02:19 But his body is covered.
00:02:21 Would that include his buttock region?
00:02:24 Shut up!
00:02:25 This is great.
00:02:25 If he scratches his chicken spots, we can call him scarbutt.
00:02:29 Mother: Leave!
00:02:30 Dad: Good-bye.
00:02:32 I'll go make you some soup.
00:02:33 I'll bring the tv up from the family room.
00:02:37 Oh, I'm so sorry.
00:02:39 Hey. don't scratch.
00:02:40 Keep that under your tongue.
00:02:42 I'll be right back.
00:02:45 Nice family, huh, doris?
00:02:48 [Squeaks] ♪ up in the morning and off to school ♪
00:02:56 you should get going.
00:02:57 See you later, dad.
00:02:59 ♪ To teach you the golden rule ♪
00:03:01 ♪ american history and practical math ♪
00:03:04 ♪ you study them hard and hope to pass ♪
00:03:08 ♪ rock, rock rock 'n' roll ♪
00:03:12 ♪ feeling is there, body and soul ♪
00:03:14 ♪ ring, ring goes the bell ♪
00:03:16 greenfield's 401k is invested in the itha fund.
00:03:19 You have it listed in the midcap fund.
00:03:21 That's where your 3,000 shortfall is.
00:03:22 [Bell rings] ok?
00:03:23 Bruce: We'll make it up next quarter.
00:03:26 Bruce, can i-- I just have to put you on hold one second.
00:03:28 Alex?
00:03:29 I'm on with the office.
00:03:31 So I think that what we need-- [bell rings] I'm really sorry, bruce.
00:03:36 Can I just call you back in a minute?
00:03:38 Bruce: Sure.
00:03:50 [Giggles] gotcha.
00:03:53 You rang?
00:04:04 Thirsty?
00:04:12 Thanks, mom.
00:04:14 Oh, here we are.
00:04:15 Oh, I do wish that my husband could have been here today.
00:04:18 Well, it's a cozy little place.
00:04:21 Well, isn't this charming.
00:04:23 And it's available immediately.
00:04:25 My boys are just gonna love it here.
00:04:30 Yes, they will.
00:04:44 [Squeaks] look, doris.
00:04:51 [Frantic squeaking] if you think that was amusing, wait'll you see what I do next.
00:05:11 Oh, yeah.
00:05:24 Announcer: This is a very important piece.
00:05:29 [Rock music plays] ♪ ah ah ah ah ♪
00:05:37 ♪ it's wearing me down ♪
00:05:39 [giggles] [click] [click] [click] [growls] [woof] sit.
00:06:28 I can't wait for next week.
00:06:31 I hate dogs.
00:06:34 Charlie, we've been over all this.
00:06:35 You know I can't come in.
00:06:37 Alex is sick.
00:06:39 Oh, god. you're kidding.
00:06:42 How long's he in town?
00:06:45 No, that's ok.
00:06:46 Mary lou can handle it.
00:06:48 She can.
00:06:48 She can access the-- no.
00:06:53 I know I promised you, but my child wasn't sick when I promised you.
00:06:57 There's no-- ok, fine.
00:07:00 One hour.
00:07:01 I can come in for one hour.
00:07:02 That is it.
00:07:03 If alex beeps me, I'm gone.
00:07:04 You can fire me if you want to, but I'm gone.
00:07:08 ..
00:07:08 I just want you to know that you're putting me in the position of having to choose between making a house payment or taking care of my sick child, and I really don't appreciate it.
00:07:18 Jerk.
00:07:23 Did you tell charlie that I'm desperately ill?
00:07:26 Thank you, alex.
00:07:28 Yes, charlie knows you're sick.
00:07:30 What about the family leave act?
00:07:33 I just have to go in and pick up some stuff and sign some papers and show my face.
00:07:38 I'll be gone an hour at the very most.
00:07:40 hess and told her you'd be alone-- hess she knows I'm gonna be alone?
00:07:46 She said if anything comes up, she'll be right over.
00:07:49 She wasn't happy about it, but-- she could get tanked up on iced tea and come over and make me smoke cigarettes.
00:07:55 Oh, don't be ridiculous.
00:07:55 What do I do if there's a tornado?
00:07:58 They don't happen in winter.
00:08:00 Social unrest?
00:08:01 I don't think so.
00:08:02 Boredom?
00:08:03 I hear it's deadly in old folks.
00:08:05 Good bye, sweetie.
00:08:09 What about crooks?
00:08:12 I don't think that's a problem during the day, honey.
00:08:15 nobody's home during the day.
00:08:17 I'm only 8, and I figured that out.
00:08:20 Don't up crook would figure it out, too?
00:08:23 This is a very safe neighborhood.
00:08:26 There's only one road in and out of here, the doors will be locked, you have all my numbers.
00:08:31 I'll be home as soon as I can.
00:08:32 But, mom, what about dragons, giant spiders, mummies, the living dead, and other figments of my imagination?
00:08:40 Alex, I can't help you there.
00:08:43 Only you can control your imagination.
00:08:48 That's a scary thought.
00:09:44 P P P P P P P P P P 00@@@@!A!A!AA& xñññññññ [Beep] [woof] hmm.
00:14:12 That's weird.
00:14:21 Oh, my god.
00:14:28 [Gasp] 20 seconds out.
00:14:37 Clear.
00:14:44 911 Emergency.
00:14:45 I saw a burglar.
00:14:47 Are you by yourself?
00:14:48 My mom just had to run out for a few minutes.
00:14:50 I have the chickenpox.
00:14:52 Can I have your address, please?
00:14:53 The guy isn't at my house.
00:14:55 He's at the stephans'.
00:14:56 Their address is 3015 washington street.
00:15:07 [Sirens] nothing.
00:15:48 [Sirens] there's a burglar in the stephans' house!
00:15:58 I saw hime.
00:15:59 There was one with a dog in a gray van, and a man in running clothes.
00:16:03 I didn't recognize anybody but the dog.
00:16:05 He looked just like johnny allen's dog.
00:16:07 So I called the police.
00:16:07 [Sirens] you called the police?
00:16:14 Officer: Check the back.
00:16:17 Yes, sir.
00:16:28 [Alarm sounds] freeze!
00:16:32 [Grr] [whines] the burglar alarm was on and working.
00:16:52 There was no one in the house.
00:16:54 It doesn't appear that anything's been taken.
00:16:57 I don't know what ..
00:16:59 There wasn't a person in that house.
00:17:03 I-i-i'm very sorry about this.
00:17:04 My son's been home with the chickenpox.
00:17:06 I had to run to work to pick up some papers.
00:17:08 I'm completely strapped.
00:17:10 I don't normally do this.
00:17:11 Son, false alarms are no joking matter.
00:17:16 It wasn't a false alarm!
00:17:17 There was a guy in the house, he had 2 lookouts and a driver in a gray van.
00:17:22 He's been running a fever.
00:17:24 You might want to remind him that ours is serious business.
00:17:27 Oh, he knows.
00:17:28 We gave him a police set for christmas-- not this christmas, st christmas-- you know, one of those-- a badge and a hat and a whistle.
00:17:35 He took it very seriously.
00:17:37 He went around the house arresting relatives for various crimes.
00:17:40 You know, not real crimes, just for leaving the toilet ..
00:17:45 Absolutely.
00:17:47 I will, yes.
00:17:49 Thank you.
00:17:49 Thank you.
00:17:59 You get in that bed, young man.
00:18:00 Excuse me, but I saw a man in karen stephans' bedroom.
00:18:03 A white male a little older than dad, and he was wearing ion gloves.
00:18:08 Oh, I have warned you about that telescope.
00:18:11 You look through it long enough, you're going to start seeing things, whether or not they're there.
00:18:15 I guess you have tbe 35 before anyone around here listens to you.
00:18:18 Don't get smart with me, alex.
00:18:20 Sick or not, I am very angry with you.
00:18:22 You have caused a lot of trouble today.
00:18:25 D and I have to replace a door at the stephans'.
00:18:27 Do you think we're happy about that?
00:18:29 I saw what I saw.
00:18:36 Earl unger.
00:18:38 Burton jernigan.
00:18:40 And alice ribbons.
00:18:41 They were ticketed under known aliases, but didn't board the hong kong flight.
00:18:46 I believe they're still , ..
00:18:49 I don't know.
00:18:52 Ladies and gentlemen, we've got to find that chip.
00:18:58 Alice: What went wrong with the burglar alarm?
00:19:02 Nothing.
00:19:02 It wasn't the alarm.
00:19:04 Then who called the police?
00:19:06 jernigan, care to speculate?
00:19:09 Alice: Cars came and went.
00:19:11 The mailman came by.
00:19:12 We could have a watcher on any house in any street.
00:19:15 It could be anybody.
00:19:16 I don't think it's just anybody.
00:19:18 I think it's someone on our street.
00:19:21 Someone we are not tracking.
00:19:24 Someone we've missed.
00:19:34 [Horn honks] dad, cab's here.
00:19:38 Oh, shoot.
00:19:40 Your mom's not back yet.
00:19:43 Well, all right.
00:19:44 Mom had to take some documents to the bank.
00:19:47 She can't be gone more than a few minutes.
00:19:50 Mrs. hess is home.
00:19:50 You'll be fine, ok?
00:19:53 My beeper number's on speed dial on the telephone.
00:19:55 Second button.
00:19:55 Mom's on the first button.
00:19:57 Right. yeah.
00:19:59 So, you're ok?
00:20:00 Positutely.
00:20:01 Give me a kiss.
00:20:02 All right.
00:20:05 Dad?
00:20:08 Listen.
00:20:09 This is a very safe and secure neighborhood.
00:20:11 We have great police, as you learned yesterday.
00:20:14 Nothing bad is goi dad?
00:20:17 Yeah.
00:20:18 Got your tickets?
00:20:19 Yep.
00:20:20 Got your wallet?
00:20:21 Yeah, it's in my pocket.
00:20:23 Where's your pocket?
00:20:30 Yeah.
00:20:32 Thank you.
00:20:33 Bye, dad.
00:21:04 She's leaving.
00:21:26 3-0-2-5 Is all clear.
00:21:29 Red sedan heading south.
00:21:32 Turning right. hold.
00:21:46 [Gasps] [pager beeps] ohh.
00:22:07 you are ..
00:22:10 [Pager beeps] mr. pruitt.
00:22:12 Wait. wait. wait.
00:22:13 Oh, no.
00:23:12 aa& Man: Yes.
00:26:25 [Sirens approach] abort. abort.
00:26:31 Evacuate the area.
00:26:31 I'm on my own.
00:26:33 [Starts engine] let's go.
00:27:01 Officer: Move! move!
00:27:07 Officer: Over there!
00:27:14 Cool.
00:27:18 Come on.
00:27:23 [Children yelling] nothing.
00:27:31 Let's check upstairs.
00:27:39 So, uh, where's the burglar?
00:27:41 There is no burglar.
00:27:42 Just a kid home sick from school making false alarms.
00:27:48 How embarrassing.
00:27:50 Mm-hmm.
00:27:56 Son, this is the second time in 2 days that you've called the police.
00:28:00 It's a very serious matter when a person calls the police.
00:28:04 I saw a burglar yesterday, and I saw a burglar today.
00:28:08 Alex, listen to the chief.
00:28:10 There was no one in that house.
00:28:12 What about johnny allen's dog?
00:28:14 I talked to johnny last night.
00:28:16 His dog was kidnapped on monday morning.
00:28:19 Did he see it happen?
00:28:20 Alex, apologize to the chief and go up to your room.
00:28:26 Excuse me for being a good citizen.
00:28:29 Alex!
00:28:30 I'm very sorry.
00:28:32 This will not happen again.
00:28:34 Will it, honey?
00:28:36 Really, I promise you.
00:28:37 We wouldn't want to discourage him from calling us, in the event that something real ever does happen.
00:28:45 [Parrot laughs] Parrot: Loser.
00:28:49 Shut up.
00:28:50 Make me.
00:28:51 Now that you've pranked the cops twice, it goes on your permanent record.
00:28:54 For the rest of your life, if you call for help, it won't come.
00:28:58 Dad missed his plane.
00:28:59 He was late for a meeting with his boss.
00:29:01 We have to fork over much needed family cash to the stephans and to an evil octogenarian so they can have their doors repaired.
00:29:08 ..
00:29:10 The world laughs alex.
00:29:11 You've stained the family name.
00:29:18 [Parrot laughs] first the stephans, then mrs. hess.
00:29:25 I agree, doris.
00:29:26 The next stop is the alcotts' house.
00:29:28 What kind of a burglar goes into a house and doesn't take anything?
00:29:33 Do you know what I think?
00:29:34 I think they're looking for something special.
00:29:36 They're looking in everybody's house 'cause they don't know who has it.
00:29:42 ..
00:29:44 What is it?
00:29:55 If nobody's going to do anything about this, I'll just have to do it myself.
00:30:10 [Gasps] [tires squeal] I am so sorry.
00:30:14 I'm clearly not awake.
00:30:18 It's all right.
00:30:21 Have a nice day.
00:30:22 I'll try.
00:30:28 [Whimpers] [static transmissions] [minivan door closes] watch this, doris.
00:31:48 Huh?
00:31:58 Hmm.
00:32:31 [Meow] look, doris.
00:32:34 [Squeaks] boo!
00:32:40 ] [squeaks happily] I forgot about the stairs.
00:32:59 [Squeaks] hmm.
00:33:50 You are so busted.
00:33:53 Hah!
00:33:54 Aah!
00:33:55 [Squeaks] I have it.
00:34:00 A toy car.
00:34:01 It's videotaping me.
00:34:03 Huh?
00:34:04 What?
00:34:12 Hoo-aah!
00:34:13 Aah! ow!
00:34:14 Ow! grrr!
00:34:18 go, go, go, go, go!
00:34:22 [Tires squeal] don't spin. don't spin.
00:34:42 [Gasps] Claude Akins: You there.
00:34:53 Now, you was friendly to me.
00:34:55 I don't want to have to kill you.
00:34:56 Chuck Connors: You got money doesn't belong to you.
00:34:57 this ain't none of your business.
00:35:00 All right, now.
00:35:01 Drop the saddle bags.
00:35:14 [Telephone rings] [ring] [snores] brnnng brnnng!
00:35:22 Hello. this is karen.
00:35:23 Hi. how's it going?
00:35:26 yeah, I'm running late for the office again.
00:35:30 I think blue chips are overvalued.
00:35:33 Technology stocks will be good.
00:35:35 Technology stocks.
00:35:35 Listen, I'm in the shower.
00:35:36 Can I call you back?
00:35:45 Come on, come on, come on, come on.
00:35:49 See ya!
00:35:54 [Tires squeal] ohh!
00:36:02 Unh. unh.
00:36:03 The car's outside.
00:36:03 I got a woman in the house.
00:36:06 Get over here.
00:36:17 Come on, get up!
00:36:23 Unh.
00:36:25 [Gasp] aah!
00:36:30 Aah!
00:36:32 [Garden implements crash] ow! ooh!
00:36:41 [Gasps] shh! come on!
00:36:58 everybody's in a hurry.
00:37:01 It's a video camera.
00:37:01 Someone's onto us.
00:37:03 You think it really matters?
00:37:04 Chip's in the car.
00:37:06 We're at the airport in 45 minutes.
00:37:08 Where's alice?
00:37:09 [Garden implements crash] what happened?
00:37:13 There is a woman in the house.
00:37:14 I'll go back in and deal with her.
00:37:16 Get the chip.
00:37:27 Hmm.
00:37:30 Unh.
00:37:32 Whoa!
00:37:33 Unh.
00:37:35 Yes!
00:37:36 I got it.
00:37:47 Ma'am?
00:37:48 May I have a word with you?
00:37:51 Don't come in. I'm naked.
00:37:55 What's on your mind, monkey butt?
00:39:38 xñññññññ@ I see it.
00:42:11 It's going through the hedge.
00:42:15 Jernigan, position.
00:42:17 You're there.
00:42:19 I got it!
00:42:20 Alice: I got it! aah!
00:42:23 Ow! unh!
00:42:26 [Snickers] I don't see anything.
00:43:00 I'll look around.
00:43:31 I don't have it yet.
00:43:33 [Creaking] we're out of time.
00:43:34 Give it up.
00:43:49 [Gasps] they got the tape.
00:44:09 Why did they still chase the toy car?
00:44:11 It's not that expensive.
00:44:14 I'm sure they don't have enough time to play with it.
00:44:23 Whoa.
00:44:28 Whoa.
00:44:43 Hmm.
00:44:45 Look, doris.
00:44:46 [Squeaks] computer chip, huh?
00:44:51 Where did you find it?
00:44:55 I found it in a remote control car I got for shoveling snow for mrs. hess.
00:44:59 She lives across the street from us.
00:45:01 air force" on it, but you have to look under a magnifying glass in order to see it.
00:45:06 Kid, a lot of toave "air force" written on them.
00:45:10 This is a recruiting office, son.
00:45:12 We don't handle matters like this.
00:45:14 Can I give you the number on the chip and you can call the right guys?
00:45:18 [Sighs] do you think we should tell mom about the chip?
00:45:26 [Squeaks] yeah, I guess you're right.
00:45:28 The less they know, the better.
00:45:30 Those guys are bad news.
00:45:38 I can't tell you how much I appreciate you hitting me with the minivan.
00:45:44 Never let your emotions get the best of you.
00:45:47 You weren't paying attention.
00:45:48 You should have been more vigilant.
00:45:49 You should have taken driver's ed.
00:45:51 It's a kid.
00:45:52 It has to be a kid.
00:45:55 I'm gonna have bad knees when I'm old, and I'll have burton jernigan to thank.
00:45:59 The cops come twice.
00:46:00 They don't believe the kid.
00:46:02 He takes matters into his own hands.
00:46:05 It can't be anything else.
00:46:06 If that's the case, I say take no chances.
00:46:09 Tomorrow, whack every kid in the neighborhood.
00:46:12 Burn 'em all.
00:46:13 Then look for that stupid car.
00:46:15 My thoughts keep turning to number 3026.
00:46:19 It's in the operating radiusf the toy car.
00:46:21 It's on the sightlines of all the houses I've been in.
00:46:25 [Ring] [ring] [ring] [ring] [ring, beep] hello?
00:46:40 Man: Do you have the missile chip?
00:46:43 We are close.
00:46:44 If I don't have the chip beaupre, I will have no choice but to terminate the mission and nullify all the participants.
00:46:54 You understand, don't you?
00:46:57 Guys, dad's home tomorrow night.
00:46:59 Now, I have my quarterly client meeting 00, so I need you and molly to come straight home after school to stay with alex until dad gets home.
00:47:06 I can't. no way. impossible.
00:47:07 I have gymnastics.
00:47:10 I have hockey.
00:47:10 Do I need to repeat myself?
00:47:11 I thought you were putting hess to watch alex.
00:47:15 she's a lot more responsible than me and stan.
00:47:18 Mrs. hess is a backup.
00:47:20 Unless there's an emergency, I really don't want to have to call her.
00:47:23 I'll be fine by myself.
00:47:25 Well, there you have it.
00:47:25 Settled.
00:47:27 Alex, could you pass me the false alarms?
00:47:30 Excuse me. I'm sorry.
00:47:30 I meant the peas.
00:47:32 [Telephone rings] ho ho.
00:47:34 Hello? oh, hi.
00:47:36 yeah, he's been home with the chickenpox.
00:47:40 alex, do you know a bradley clovis?
00:47:45 Yeah.
00:47:46 This is his mother on the phone.
00:47:48 Did you take a toy car from him?
00:47:49 [Gasps] he has one of those remote control cars, but he got it from the woman across the street.
00:47:58 We have it.
00:48:01 Alex, what is the matter with you?
00:48:03 You don't disconnect one of my calls.
00:48:05 Don't talk to mrs. clovis, please!
00:48:07 Why not?
00:48:07 She's dangerous.
00:48:09 Dahoney, what are-- it was lies.
00:48:10 They're all lies.
00:48:13 It wasn't her.
00:48:14 Honey, what do you mean it wasn't her?
00:48:22 I think you'll be surprised.
00:48:34 Outgoing call.
00:48:40 Rerouted.
00:48:41 [Telephone rings] hello. clovises'.
00:48:45 Hi. I beg your pardon.
00:48:45 We just-- did i ..karen?
00:48:51 No, no. it was me.
00:48:52 We're renovating.
00:48:54 The phone lines are a mess.
00:48:55 [WHISPERING] They intercepted the phone call.
00:48:58 Listen, I didn't mean to accuse your son.
00:49:02 I'm certain bradley just misplaced his toy car.
00:49:06 Karen: Isn't that the way they are?
00:49:08 They lose something, they immediately assume it's been stolen.
00:49:10 Little boys do have wild imaginations, don't they?
00:49:15 Yes, they do.
00:49:24 They're gonna come after me tomorrow, doris.
00:49:28 Nobody will listen-- not my parents or molly or stan or the police or the air force.
00:49:37 Nobody.
00:49:38 So what do I do?
00:49:41 [Squeaks if that means hide, you are wrong.
00:49:45 [Squeaks] if that means fight, you're right.
00:49:51 [Sighs] they will understand when I'm done.
00:49:54 They will know I was telling the truth.
00:49:56 I'm not gonna cry or feel sad or scared.
00:49:59 They're grps, and they're criminals, but this is my neighborhood, and this is my house, and no matter how old they are, no matter how big they are, they can't beat me here.
00:50:08 They can't beat me at home.
00:50:46 Rawk! ohh.
00:50:48 want to buy a little silence?
00:50:51 Double or nothing.
00:50:56 Rawk!
00:50:58 [Snores] ♪
00:51:03 ♪ are we going ♪
00:51:07 ♪ home again, home again ♪
00:51:18 ♪ are we going ♪
00:51:22 ♪ home again, home again ♪
00:51:37 ♪ home again, go home again ♪
00:51:41 ♪ home again ♪
00:51:43 we're watching a major snowstorm that's bearing down on the chicagoland area.
00:51:46 As you take a look at the latest radar, you can see the snow's increasing in intensity.
00:51:50 Heavy snow's in the forecast, and residents are urged to stay indoors if possible.
00:52:19 Here we go, doris.
00:52:31 [Woof woof] whoa!
00:52:32 Don't! stop!
00:52:34 [Dog barks] first we free the hostages.
00:52:46 Alice: Switching on the fiber optics.
00:52:48 Karen: Alex, can you get the door, please?
00:52:55 No answer.
00:53:02 [Whimpering] are we certain target has not left?
00:53:09 Negative.
00:53:10 We would have seen that.
00:53:11 [Blows silent dog whistle] [whimpers] [dog whimpers] I repeat--there is no movement inside.
00:53:25 Permission to enter.
00:53:30 Aah!
00:53:31 No, rollie, no!
00:53:33 No! no!
00:53:35 Aah!
00:53:37 [Screaming] [woof woof] alice?
00:53:47 [Blows snow out of mouth] hey! go home. go home.
00:53:55 [Barking] grrr.
00:54:07 [Rip] [gasp] I need assistance.
00:54:12 I'm exposed.
00:54:15 Maintain your position.
00:54:16 Do not--i repeat--do not draw attention to yourself.
00:54:24 we move in after the storm hits.
00:54:28 We'll let mother nature cover our tracks.
00:57:38 ♪♪ ♪♪
00:57:58 when I play, I wear my zigtech.
00:58:00 Me, too.
00:58:01 Zigtech. now for kids.
00:58:04 ♪♪ ♪♪
00:58:46 sir, this just came in some kid named pruitt called a recruiting office in chicago.
00:58:50 Said he found a computer chi in a toy car.
00:58:54 We're going to chicago.
00:58:59 Did you watch the weather for me?
00:59:01 Yep. no problems.
00:59:02 Your coat's over there.
00:59:03 I wanted to wear my brown one.
00:59:06 why don't you go fill your commuter cup with yummy hot coffee, and I'll get your coat for you.
00:59:12 Thanks, hon.
00:59:12 I'll make you a sandwich.
00:59:32 Here's your coat.
00:59:34 Thanks.
00:59:35 Oh, sweetheart, I am so sorry about this week.
00:59:38 It breaks my heart to have to come and go like this.
00:59:41 It shouldn't be this way.
00:59:43 It's ok. it's not you.
00:59:46 Times.
00:59:47 Thanks, hon.
00:59:48 You have your beeper?
00:59:51 Yep.
00:59:52 Great.
00:59:53 [Beep] I'll call every half hour.
00:59:55 I'll go online with you and keep the connection open all day.
00:59:58 I'll have my laptop with me at all my meetings.
01:00:01 We'll be in contact at all times.
01:00:03 Plus, I have my cellular, and you've got my fax number.
01:00:07 We're wired.
01:00:09 Oh, my gosh, did mrs. clovis call?
01:00:12 She was gonna stop by before I left to confirm that bradley's name was on the remote control car.
01:00:17 She stopped by when you were in the shower.
01:00:20 Did you let her have it?
01:00:21 Big time.
01:00:22 I hot foolish.
01:00:24 It was painful.
01:00:26 Ok. be good.
01:00:28 keep an eye on the old place.
01:00:31 I got it all covered.
01:00:43 [Door closes] here we go, doris.
01:01:21 It's just you and me.
01:01:23 [Squeak squeak] you mean there's someone else?
01:01:26 Get ready to rumble!
01:01:29 Play ball!
01:01:32 ♪ This is my town ♪
01:01:34 ♪ watch your step if you come around ♪
01:01:37 ♪ I don't think I know you ♪
01:01:39 ♪ well, maybe it's time to show you ♪
01:01:42 ♪ this is my home ♪
01:01:44 ♪ I'll be standing here alone ♪
01:01:46 ♪ and if you're ready to see hell ♪
01:01:48 ♪ come on in and ring the bell ♪
01:01:53 hip ♪ finally you got your hit ♪
01:01:58 ♪ coming from the nowhere ♪
01:02:00 ♪ sliding 'cross the clover ♪
01:02:02 ♪ hello, lady slick ♪
01:02:04 ♪ did you pull ♪
01:02:07 ♪ beautiful makeover ♪
01:02:09 ♪ make the perfect cover ♪
01:02:11 ♪ didn't you know ♪
01:02:13 ♪ things don't come easy, so ♪
01:02:16 ♪ this is my town ♪
01:02:18 ♪ I think we're in super danger ♪
01:02:21 block the street.
01:02:22 ♪ This is my town ♪
01:02:23 ♪ watch your step if you come around ♪
01:02:26 ♪ ring the bell, ring the bell ♪
01:02:28 ♪ ring the bell ♪
01:02:31 ♪ ring the bell ♪
01:02:34 ♪ come on in, come on in ♪
01:02:36 ♪ come on in, come on in ♪
01:02:37 ♪ come on in, come on ♪
01:02:39 ♪ come on in, come on in ♪
01:02:40 ♪ come on in, come on in ♪
01:02:42 ♪ come on in, come on ♪
01:02:45 [ring] hello?
01:02:47 Hi, mrs. hess.
01:02:47 It's karen pruitt.
01:02:48 Could you possiblook in on alex for me?
01:02:51 I'm just going out.
01:02:52 Oh, I'm at work.
01:02:52 I'm really in a bind.
01:02:55 ..
01:02:55 How long?
01:02:58 Well, it wouldn't be for more than an hour or so.
01:03:01 All right.
01:03:01 No cooking.
01:03:15 "Call mrs. hess.
01:03:17 "Well, she's retired.
01:03:18 What else could she " baby-sitter.
01:03:22 Do they invite me into their house for a holiday eggnog?
01:03:25 Well, of course not.
01:03:26 Look who woke up from her nap.
01:03:35 Crooks at 30 yards and closing.
01:03:38 Let the party begin.
01:03:42 Good afternoon.
01:03:43 My husband and I have just moved our neighborhood.
01:03:46 What do you want, a wilkie button?
01:03:47 A package was to be delivered to us, but the driver got confused and perhaps he brought it here.
01:03:52 they didn't bring anything here.
01:03:54 The delivery company said that no one answered the door and the driver left it in the garage.
01:04:15 Mrs. Hess: Sometimes they leave stuff at the back door.
01:04:19 Why are you closing the door?
01:04:21 I left my heart in san francisco.
01:04:25 [Door slams shut] looks like that little rugrat has the place locked up pretty tight.
01:04:50 [Electricity sizzling] ha ha ha ha.
01:04:55 Jernigan, I think I'm going to enjoy this.
01:04:58 It's been a long time since I was a kid.
01:05:01 You forget how incredibly stupid they are.
01:05:06 Jernigan: You be careful.
01:05:07 Sometimes when kids get scared, they wet their pants.
01:05:11 Ooh!
01:05:14 Ohh!
01:05:17 Uhh!
01:05:18 Ooh-ooh-ooh!
01:05:19 Ooh-ooh-ooh!
01:05:19 Ooh-ooh-ooh!
01:05:22 Ohh!
01:05:27 Ohh! uhh!
01:05:29 Yee-aah!
01:05:31 Uhh!
01:05:32 Aah!
01:05:34 Aah-aah-aah-aah!
01:05:37 Aah!
01:05:39 Yaah!
01:05:42 Ehh.
01:05:43 Huhh.
01:05:45 Mr. unger.
01:05:47 Aah!
01:05:51 Ohh! ohh!
01:05:54 Ohh.
01:05:59 [High-pitched] I'm all right.
01:06:02 [Sizzling] ohh!
01:06:11 [Clattering] uhh! aah!
01:06:20 Uhh-uhh-uhh-uhh!
01:06:22 Aah-aah-aah-aah!
01:06:23 Aah!
01:06:25 Uhh!
01:06:27 ..
01:06:31 [Moaning] unger, what are you doing?
01:06:36 Don't touch the yarn.
01:06:38 It's wired.
01:06:40 Kid's got the place booby-trapped.
01:06:44 Make no assumptions.
01:06:47 H the welcome mat.
01:06:48 This boy's clever.
01:06:50 Have you tried the door?
01:06:52 Uh, not yet.
01:06:53 Let me point something out to you.
01:06:58 [Roof creaking] missed that.
01:07:01 Stand clear.
01:07:11 Maybe he's not so clever after all.
01:07:13 Yeah, i--i just think we're having an off day.
01:07:21 [Gasps] ohh!
01:07:22 Ohh!
01:07:34 A thought for you ..
01:07:39 At airport security, sure you have the right package.
01:07:54 I certainly hope ..
01:07:56 Fond of that little boy across the street.
01:08:01 [Muffled] [kiss] [muffled groaning] I'll leave this open.
01:08:10 [Muffled] fresh air will be good for you.
01:08:20 [Sizzling] ohh. ohh.
01:08:25 You think you're smart, you little brat.
01:08:31 Unger, what's your status?
01:08:39 Unger.
01:08:40 Unger?
01:08:45 Whoo. hwah!
01:09:02 [Yelling] whoo! whoo! whoo! whoo!
01:09:11 Whoo-hoo! whoo!
01:09:16 Uhh.
01:09:22 Heads up.
01:09:25 How did that happen?
01:09:26 I don't know.
01:09:30 Uhh.
01:09:31 [Clang] ouch.
01:09:37 [Moaning] you got hit with a book?
01:09:45 Books.
01:09:46 a trunk full of books.
01:09:50 Then a set of weights.
01:09:52 We got hit twice, you dumb broad.
01:09:54 unger, I didn't get taken down by an infant.
01:09:58 Beaupre: We didn't anticipate the defense the boy would mount.
01:10:01 I'll go in the front.
01:10:03 unger, you take the north side.
01:10:05 Alice, you take the south side.
01:10:08 Where is mr. jernigan?
01:10:10 Ohh ohh! ohh!
01:10:17 Ohh! ohh! ooh!
01:10:18 Dean Martin: ♪ Oh, the weather outside is frightful ♪
01:10:22 ♪ but the fire is so delightful ♪
01:10:26 ♪ and simply noplace to go ♪
01:10:29 ♪ let it snow, let it snow, let it snow ♪
01:10:32 Woman on P.A.: Attention, travelers.
01:10:33 All flights to chicago continue to be delayed due to severe weather.
01:10:38 Please stand by for further details.
01:10:41 [Power tool whirring] ohh! ow-wow-wow-wow!
01:10:56 Wow!
01:11:21 Hi.
01:11:22 ..
01:11:25 Aah! ow!
01:11:27 Ohh! ohh!
01:11:47 You can run, but you can't hide, junior.
01:11:51 Surprise.
01:11:51 [Gasps] aah!
01:11:55 Aah!
01:12:00 What a loser.
01:13:01 xñññññññ7777IIII÷I÷I÷I÷I÷I÷I÷I÷I÷IIIIIIIIIIIIó Oh! ooh!
01:16:30 Ooh!
01:16:33 Uhh!
01:16:36 Ohh. ohh!
01:16:43 Ahh. ha.
01:16:51 Ugh. eew!
01:16:53 Aah. aah. aah.
01:16:55 [Coughing] I got him!
01:17:35 [Gasps] uhh!
01:17:41 Aah!
01:17:43 Aaarrrgh!
01:17:51 Ohh!
01:17:54 [Gasps] aah!
01:18:10 Ohh!
01:18:11 Ohh! ooh!
01:18:17 Heh heh heh.
01:18:20 Ohh!
01:18:21 [Power tool whirring] [doll crying] [cocks gun] you are dead, kid.
01:18:52 [Agonized moan] whoa.
01:19:05 Uhh.
01:19:07 Uhh.
01:19:08 Uhh.
01:19:25 [Groans] [gasps] now things are lookin' up.
01:19:43 [Gasps] gotcha!
01:19:47 Whoa!
01:19:48 See ya.
01:19:49 Aah!
01:20:13 Al Nice try, kid.
01:20:26 Whoa-oh-oh-oh!
01:20:30 [Sizzling] [whirring] [pbblt] [bones crack] ooh! whee-ya!
01:21:10 Hmm. hmm.
01:21:15 Aah!
01:21:17 Uhh!
01:21:24 Aah!
01:21:26 Alice?
01:21:27 [Gasps] aah!
01:21:31 Ohh!
01:21:42 I'm coming down!
01:21:45 Aah!
01:21:53 Aah!
01:22:01 jernigan, mr. unger!
01:22:03 Welcome.
01:22:06 You got a haircut?
01:22:09 [Clunking] are you almost done in there?
01:22:21 Don't start with me.
01:22:26 I'll wait.
01:22:28 [Beep beep beep] [telephone rings] [ring] [ring] [gasps] [ring] [ring] Jernigan: Let's move.
01:22:46 [Ring] Alice: Ugh. what stinks?
01:22:50 Unger: Shut up.
01:22:53 [Ring] hello?
01:22:55 Karen: Honey, you're all out of breath. is something wrong?
01:22:58 No, no.
01:22:59 Everything's fine.
01:23:00 I'm so worried.
01:23:00 The weather is terrible.
01:23:06 [Spraying] I'm gonna come home right now.
01:23:10 No, no.
01:23:10 Take your time, really.
01:23:13 Don't come home, mom.
01:23:14 Um, why don't you pick up stan and molly from school?
01:23:17 Are you sure?
01:23:18 I'm playing chinese checkers with mrs. hess.
01:23:21 You're not smoking, are you?
01:23:23 No. I got to go.
01:23:24 hess gets nutty when you make her wait.
01:23:27 Ok. play fair.
01:23:29 Always.
01:23:30 What a brave little fellow.
01:23:41 Mr. jernigan.
01:23:43 Living room--clear.
01:23:44 Good.
01:23:47 Mmm.
01:23:48 Nothing in the kitchen.
01:23:54 Alice: Let's organize.
01:23:55 Mr. unger, you turn left.
01:23:57 jernigan, follow me, slowly.
01:24:01 Go, doris.
01:24:10 Ah.
01:24:12 Alice: Mr. unger, go left.
01:24:14 I'll cover the stairs.
01:24:20 [Gasps] I'm comin' for you, shorty, comin' to pay you back for all the misery you caused me.
01:24:27 unger, what are you doing?
01:24:29 Kid's in the closet.
01:24:30 Scared him a little just before I grab him.
01:24:37 And behind ..
01:24:45 Towels.
01:24:47 Hmph.
01:24:50 Idiot.
01:24:50 Would I make it up?
01:24:52 Why? what's the point?
01:24:53 We working on commission here?
01:25:05 Whew.
01:25:06 Ah-choo!
01:25:07 [Gasps] [sirens] [bell rings] what's going on?
01:25:34 pruitt from washington street?
01:25:37 Yes.
01:25:39 I came to talk to your son.
01:25:41 You called the air force about a computer chip in a remote control car?
01:25:46 No.
01:25:47 Oh, god, it's alex.
01:25:48 It's--it's my--my other son.
01:25:50 Why? what's happened?
01:25:51 He may be in danger.
01:25:55 He's not here.
01:25:55 He's at home.
01:25:57 Well, let's move.
01:25:59 Why is he in danger?
01:26:02 She asked you a question, sir.
01:26:04 I'm not at liberty to discuss it, son.
01:26:10 The "it" you're referring to is my little brother.
01:26:22 We think he intercepted a top-secret electronic device stolen from a defense department contractor by a group of international criminals working for a north korean terrorist organization.
01:26:44 [Whispers] Mr. Jernigan. Come.
01:26:56 [Shower running] [singing in shower] ♪ green-eyed lady ♪
01:27:04 ♪ ocean lady ♪
01:27:05 ♪ soothing every ging wave ♪
01:27:09 ♪ that comes ♪
01:27:17 Alex: Go, doris, go.
01:27:31 [Squeaks] aah!
01:27:38 [Monkey laughs] shut up.
01:27:45 [Squeaking] aah!
01:27:49 What?
01:27:50 Don't move.
01:27:51 Alice?
01:27:53 ..move.
01:27:56 Alice?
01:27:59 What?
01:28:01 Alice?
01:28:02 Shh-shh-shh.
01:28:03 Alice?
01:28:04 Aah!
01:28:06 Excellent.
01:28:07 Run, shorty, run, shorty!
01:28:09 Come on, doris!
01:28:10 The kid!
01:28:12 Doris, come on!
01:28:13 I got you now, you little rat!
01:28:16 I got him!
01:28:17 Uhh!
01:28:17 Uhh!
01:28:21 Whoa!
01:28:23 Uhh!
01:28:24 [Panting] where is he?
01:28:51 Stay here, doris.
01:28:54 [Squeaks] yikes.
01:29:04 Come on!
01:29:19 He's been watching us the whole time.
01:29:22 He had a camera on us.
01:29:25 You're not gonna nd me up there, you big, dumb, lawbreaking knuckleheads!
01:29:31 All: He's outside!
01:29:39 Recognize this?
01:29:44 How did he get outside?
01:29:45 Alice: The same way onna get outside.
01:29:49 Jump! go!
01:29:50 Don't push!
01:29:51 It's a trampoline.
01:29:52 You're jumping onto a trampoline.
01:29:53 I presume, then, that you won't be joining us?
01:29:55 I'll be covering you e. go!
01:29:58 How comforting!
01:30:00 Jernigan: He's gettin' away!
01:30:03 Yeah, this is a snap.
01:30:07 Go!
01:30:10 Whoa!
01:30:10 Yo!
01:30:21 Huh?
01:30:49 xxxxo qxúúúúúú ♪♪ ♪♪
01:33:18 when I play, I wear my zigtech.
01:33:21 Me, too.
01:33:22 Zigtech. now for kids.
01:33:24 ♪♪ ♪♪
01:34:50 [elevator moving] of course.
01:35:00 Here I come, you little brat.
01:35:04 Whoa!
01:35:05 Aah!
01:35:11 Ouch.
01:35:19 Mrs. hess!
01:35:25 Mrs. hess.
01:35:30 Mrs. hess?
01:35:32 Hmm?
01:35:38 You're ok.
01:35:39 I'm here now.
01:36:09 ..
01:36:12 It's alex, isn't it?
01:36:16 Today you learned something-- there is a price to be paid for being a good citizen.
01:36:22 In your zeal to aid your neighbor, you finally slipped into one ofmytraps.
01:36:38 [Yelling in foreign language] can mrs. hess go iide?
01:36:44 She's very old and very cold.
01:36:51 Please?
01:37:00 Give me the chip!
01:37:01 It doesn't belong to you. it's not yours.
01:37:05 [Sighs] the chip, son.
01:37:10 Give me the chip.
01:37:12 That doesn't belong to you, either.
01:37:15 What?
01:37:16 That's not your gun.
01:37:22 This is your gun.
01:37:31 Yah!
01:37:31 Huhh!
01:37:34 Gotcha.
01:37:40 Here, sit down, mrs. hess.
01:37:42 Thank you, alex.
01:37:46 These are times that call for soup.
01:37:48 Any favorites?
01:37:49 No, thank you.
01:37:49 I'm--i'm fine, honey.
01:37:53 Ha.
01:37:53 hess, it's really cold outside.
01:37:57 You're a pretty tough old bird.
01:38:01 And you're a very sweet young man.
01:38:06 I just never took the time to notice.
01:38:09 You're not alone in that.
01:38:22 [Sirens] wow.
01:39:00 Johnson, williams, go around back.
01:39:09 Freeze!
01:39:12 You gotta be kidding.
01:39:18 Let's go!
01:39:19 Move it! move it!
01:39:21 Alex.
01:39:26 Mom!
01:39:32 Ohh.
01:39:43 Ohh!
01:39:49 Mom.
01:39:49 You're hugging and kissing me in front of the cops.
01:39:53 Oh, alex.
01:39:54 I'm so sorry.
01:39:56 I'm so sorry I didn't listen to you.
01:40:00 This is very cool.
01:40:01 Bud, you're a hero.
01:40:06 Are you alex?
01:40:08 Yeah.
01:40:09 Agent stuckey, fbi.
01:40:11 Here's the chip.
01:40:14 There's a senior citizen across the street that's gonna need some soup and a doctor to look at her feet.
01:40:20 There's 2 guys in our pool and a woman in our basement.
01:40:23 The other one's gone.
01:40:31 This him?
01:40:34 Yup.
01:40:36 7 Years I've been after this guy.
01:40:41 He always manages to slip away.
01:40:46 Thanks.
01:40:51 It's just the three, sir.
01:40:53 Where's your boss?
01:40:56 Stuckey: Get 'em out of here.
01:40:58 Yes, sir.
01:41:42 ..E on we have ignition.
01:42:14 Now, I'll be there in just a minute.
01:42:16 Ok, bye.
01:42:16 Driver, it's the big d tudor place with the christmas lights in the driveway that hasn't been shoveled.
01:42:22 Eh?
01:42:23 That one right there.
01:42:25 Oh.
01:42:28 [Hammering] ..
01:42:35 Have you ever had the chickenpox?
01:42:37 I had the chickenpox when herbert hoover was in the white house.
01:42:42 [Laughter] hello.
01:42:45 Hey there, stranger.
01:42:46 Hi.
01:42:47 Dad!
01:42:48 Hi, sweetie.
01:42:49 Hey! come here.
01:42:55 Let me see.
01:42:56 Ah, you don't look any worse for the wear.
01:42:59 They couldn't touch me.
01:43:00 The computer company that got their chip boosted is giving alex a reward.
01:43:04 It's a 6-figure sum, which is extremely cool.
01:43:07 So, did you bring me anything?
01:43:11 As a matter of fact, I did.
01:43:14 Come here.
01:43:17 Think you can drive that?
01:43:20 I think we can handle it.
01:43:22 Awk!
01:43:22 Gentlemen, start your engines!
01:43:25 360, 360!
01:43:30 Man overboard!
01:43:34 Say cheese.
01:43:36 ♪ This is my town ♪
01:43:37 ♪ watch your step if you come around ♪
01:43:40 ♪ I don't think I know you ♪
01:43:42 ♪ well, maybe it's time to show you ♪
01:43:44 ♪ this is my home ♪
01:44:33 wWP$C gnR4 ♪ A fisherman's life for me ♪
01:44:54 ♪ Shrimping our buns off ♪
01:44:56 ♪ On the great blue sea ♪
01:44:57 ♪ Where is the bathroom?
01:44:58 I really got to pee ♪
01:45:03 [laughing] [Luther] For guys like us who skate all day long, we rip through calories like-- like guys who skate all day long.
01:45:09 That's why every few months we go shrimping.
01:45:11 Shrimp is major protein.
01:45:13 I love shrimp so much, I made my very own dipping sauce.
01:45:15 Uncle Luther's Home-style Dipping Sauce.
01:45:18 You just put your own label on it.
01:45:20 Jealous.
01:45:23 Okay, let's check the net.
01:45:25 You think Tony Hawk shrimp?
01:45:26 No, he probably just shakes his fist at the water, and the shrimp jump into the boat.
01:45:32 Okay, let's see what we got here.
01:45:36 Soggy pizza box.
01:45:39 Uh...
01:45:39 message in a bottle, staying a secret.
01:45:45 An old book.
01:45:46 Hey, this is my third grade math book.
01:45:51 Whoa.
01:45:53 What the heck was that?
01:45:54 I don't know.
01:45:54 Maybe we hit a rock.
01:45:55 You better throw the anchor over.
01:45:57 Okay.
01:46:02 There's something in the water.
01:46:04 Give me your hand.
01:46:04 Luth, don't panic.
01:46:05 Give me your hand.
01:46:06 Give me your hand.
01:46:07 Don't panic, don't panic.
01:46:12 Okay. Now panic.
01:46:15 Grab me!
01:46:30 You alive?
01:46:32 Yeah. You?
01:46:36 Luth, what's going on?
01:46:38 There's a sea bass in my pants.
01:46:41 Well, put it back.
01:46:41 Okay.
01:46:42 No, I meant back in the water.
01:46:45 Right.
01:46:46 Look, I'm sorry, man.
01:46:48 I just freaked out.
01:46:48 What was that?
01:46:50 Relax, I'm sure it was nothing.
01:46:52 Now let's get out of here.
01:46:55 ♪ Wait, don't tell me, dude, you won't believe what happened ♪
01:46:58 ♪ Yes, no, maybe, don't forget that I'm a genius ♪
01:47:01 ♪ Are you crazy? Someone could be listening to us ♪
01:47:04 ♪ Wait, don't tell me, not again! ♪
01:47:06 ♪ Would you just calm down, is there a problem? ♪
01:47:09 en we'll act like nothing ever happened ♪
01:47:12 ♪ Calm down, it's only Tuesday ♪
01:47:14 ♪ We'll get a pizza and hope that no one overheard us talking ♪
01:47:17 ♪ Calm down 'cause I'm a genius ♪
01:47:19 ♪ It's only Thursday and by tomorrow ♪
01:47:22 ♪ We'll have everything just fine ♪
01:48:16 teleport!
01:48:17 Uh oh... Me swirled charms!
01:48:19 Marshmallow power teleport!
01:48:21 Phewf, [ Girl ] Get him!
01:48:26 [ Male Announcer ]Swirled Lucky Charms, part of a good breakfast.
01:48:28 They're magically delicious!
01:48:31 ♪♪ ♪♪
01:48:51 when I play, I wear zigtech.
01:48:53 Me, too.
01:48:54 Zigtech. now for kids.
01:48:57 ♪♪ ♪♪
01:49:10 Zeke! Zeke!
01:49:57 Zeke.
01:49:59 Wake up.
01:49:59 What? What's going on?
01:50:00 Check this out.
01:50:01 Check this out.
01:50:05 I'm sorry, I forgot my reading glasses.
01:50:06 Here we go.
01:50:13 Yeah.
01:50:13 Holy cow cud.
01:50:14 This is what jacked our boat.
01:50:16 We could have been toast.
01:50:17 6-foot slices of dead bread.
01:50:17 Check this out. Look.
01:50:22 Kirby Cheddar?
01:50:22 Yeah. He's at St. Gilroy Memorial.
01:50:25 You want to go see how messed up he is?
01:50:25 Yeah, let's go.
01:50:28 Not so fast, buddy boy.
01:50:30 You're not going anywhere until you clean the bathroom.
01:50:33 Look at this dump.
01:50:33 Wet clothes everywhere, skateboard wheels in the tub, seaweed.
01:50:39 The toilet seat's even missing.
01:50:42 Yeah.
01:50:43 [toilet flushes] Nothing but bowl.
01:50:49 Looks like I'm doing my business down at the Gas and Gulp. Again.
01:50:57 A traumatized boy, an angry shark, and a handsome reporter with a story for the ages.
01:51:04 We're here to see Kirby Cheddar.
01:51:06 Excuse me. You boys wouldn't on the victim, would you?
01:51:12 Wait, are we on television?
01:51:13 Dale, if I may jump in, as two of the best skaters in the area, on our way to becoming international pros, superstar wonder boys-- Yeah.
01:51:21 ...we unfortunately have nothing to report.
01:51:24 Channel 8 rocks!
01:51:25 Ye Is it cool if we hang?
01:51:32 For one minute.
01:51:34 You are family or friends, right?
01:51:36 We don't hate him.
01:51:36 How is he?
01:51:37 Well, he hasn't spoken since the accident.
01:51:41 He's got a large abrasion on his, uh, left butt cheek.
01:51:46 Can we see?
01:51:47 He's kidding.
01:51:48 No, I'm not.
01:51:48 You don't need to see it.
01:51:49 Yes, we need to see it.
01:51:51 No, we don't.
01:51:51 to see it.
01:51:52 All right, enough.
01:51:52 You two bozos, out of here.
01:52:11 Luther.
01:52:24 [whispers] What'd he say?
01:52:31 What part of "Out" did you not understand?
01:52:36 The bloodthirsty shark has been captured alive and is being held in a holding tank in a-- Oh, wait.
01:52:41 Here come the local skateboarders.
01:52:43 You just spoke with the shark victim.
01:52:45 Tell us, is he going to pull through?
01:52:46 Is he awake?
01:52:47 Does he have insurance?
01:52:47 Did he say anything?
01:52:53 He did say something.
01:52:55 What were the historic words?
01:52:59 He said, uh...
01:53:01 jump the shark.
01:53:04 Jump the shark?
01:53:06 Jump the shark.
01:53:07 The frail victim's last request.
01:53:10 But which of these local skateboarders will jump the ferocious fish?
01:53:14 No. No, I'm allergic to getting eaten a Well, then that leaves only you, Zeke, to heroically honor poor, pathetic Kirby Cheddar's last request.
01:53:24 Will you jump the shark?
01:53:33 Yeah, okay.
01:53:35 An emphatic yes!
01:53:35 Ladies and gentlemen, this is Dale Davis, live from St. Gilroy Memorial.
01:53:40 Shark Watch, day 1.
01:53:42 All my problems are solved.
01:53:45 Oh, yeah, baby.
01:53:55 Bro, what were you doing back there?
01:53:57 You just volunteered to jump a stinking shark.
01:53:59 I didn't actually vonteer.
01:54:00 got roped into it.
01:54:02 What was I supposed to say? No?
01:54:03 I did.
01:54:06 Okay, so the tank's about 25 ft.
01:54:11 I've done 25 feet before.
01:54:13 Sort of.
01:54:15 You could do this.
01:54:16 And besides, how big can the shark be, right?
01:54:22 Whoa.
01:54:33 I may or may not have just tinkled in my shorts.
01:54:38 I definitely did.
01:54:49 According to this book, you have a 40% chance of survival in the ocean, and a 1% chance of survival in a shark tank.
01:54:58 Because you're, like, trapped in there, like the shark's snack.
01:55:03 Usually, in these situations, Zeke is the brave one.
01:55:06 I could clearly see he was freaked.
01:55:08 So I had to be strong.
01:55:09 I had to be his rock.
01:55:12 I had to suck it up.
01:55:14 You can lean on me.
01:55:16 Okay? I'm solid.
01:55:18 Solid as a rock.
01:55:20 Okay?
01:55:22 Okay. It'll be okay.
01:55:24 It'll be okay.
01:55:25 All right.
01:55:27 Yo, Zeke, heard about what you're doing.
01:55:29 That's some serious jump.
01:55:31 If I was you, I'd seriously think about bailing.
01:55:35 It's not all about you.
01:55:37 I'm having a concert here at Don's tonight.
01:55:39 Female ladies only.
01:55:40 So, if you know any hotties, which is very unlikely, give them one of these.
01:55:48 "Kojo sings in the key of classy"?
01:55:51 Watch out.
01:55:53 And since you don't have any brothers or sisters, Monty, I think this would be a golden opportunity for you.
01:55:58 Well, I'd like to be your new brother there, but I have to check with my parents.
01:56:02 I already did. They're cool.
01:56:05 Oh, well.
01:56:07 Now, as my replacement brother, naturally, I'd train you.
01:56:10 Well, sure.
01:56:10 I didn't have a chance to do this with Zeke.
01:56:12 He was a lost cause before I was born.
01:56:14 Well, great.
01:56:14 I'm ready and willing.
01:56:18 Okay, there was a loof eye contact just then.
01:56:22 Lower your gaze when you talk to me.
01:56:24 Oh, well, sorry there.
01:56:38 Tony, you have never failed me.
01:56:43 I need help.
01:56:44 I need you to give me strength.
01:56:50 A little privacy here.
01:56:51 I'm having my Tony time.
01:56:55 Soy, Tony.
01:56:57 So I'll never do that again.
01:56:59 But look, Kirby, let me tell you a little fairy tale to make you feel better.
01:57:02 There once was this doughy little boy in the hospital, who made a stupid and dangerous request.
01:57:13 And from that day, everybody hated him.
01:57:19 The end.
01:57:20 If you're referring to Zeke jumping the shark, I never said that.
01:57:25 What? Yes, you did.
01:57:27 No, I didn't. I merely said "Bump the cart." Wait, what?
01:57:33 You said "Bump the cart?" You were standing next to my food cart, and I had to eat my lime Jell-O, so I tried to warn you that you were about to bump the cart.
01:57:42 So you didn't say jump the shark?
01:57:47 This means Z's off the hook.
01:57:49 Yeah.
01:57:52 Yeah.
01:57:58 Hero. Skater.
01:57:58 Turkey jerky enthusiast.
01:58:02 A very complex young man.
01:58:04 [Luther] Z.
01:58:06 You don't have to do it.
01:58:08 What are you talking about?
01:58:09 I misunderstood Kirby, because he never said it.
01:58:12 My bad, but good news is you don't have to jump the shark.

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